It happened 15 years ago. It was the scariest thing I had ever done in my life, and probably the most important. I made a choice. I took a chance. I quit making excuses, and I have never regretted that decision I made.
In my senior year of high school, I developed a stuttering problem. It was not a physical ailment, it was a mental one. I became absolutely petrified of speaking in front of an audience. Whenever I had to speak, I would trip on my words, go light-headed, drip sweat from my brow, and pray for it to all be over as quickly as possible. To say it was something I did not like is an understatement. To say it was something I felt I might never be able to do and would never attempt was a more realistic assessment and I was absolutely fine with that. I would rather hide in fear than to go through the pain and agony of speaking in public.
That changed when my daughter entered the public school system. I did not like some of the decisions the school board was making in regards to my children’s education and I realized that I could 1) sit at home, complain, and do nothing, 2) speak up and look like a babbling idiot which wasn’t really a pleasant proposition, or 3) I could go through the painful process of learning the skills I needed to become an effective communicator. So for my 33rd birthday, I attended a local Toastmaster’s meeting.
It was intimidating to watch people comfortably give impromptu talks, deliver beautifully prepared speeches, and then listen graciously while other people offered advise and critiques. I chose to hide in the back of the room and do as little as possible ,which is where I stayed for the next two months. Eventually, I ventured out and tried to take on a few roles and after 4 months of attending, I found the courage to deliver my first speech. It was a dreadful attempt. I was physically ill for two days worrying about it. When I spoke, sweat literally dripped from my face onto my note cards, and I had to add lib the ending because the ink started running on my hand-written speech. After it was over, I decided to quit.
Three weeks later, a friend convinced me to go back and give it another try. Time went by and I forced myself to deliver a second horrendous speech and again I quit. This went on for 9 months but for some strange reason I kept letting myself get talked into coming back. It took me two years to deliver the 10 manual speeches, but by the end of it all, I had developed some great friendships and knew I could control my fear enough to appear somewhat competent if I ever had to speak to an audience.
I stayed with the program for another year and a half and discovered that I was learning a great deal more than how to speak in front of a group. I learned to listen, to positively evaluate others, and to effectively think on my feet. I learned to manage a meeting, and then a club, and eventually an entire area of clubs. I learned to develop leaders and maybe how to draw out the best in some individuals who were as desperate for a different life as I had originally been. But most importantly I learned that nothing is truly impossible if you are willing to persist and to keep trying.
For me, Toastmasters helped me better listen to and communicate with my daughters, clients, and co-workers. For me, Toastmasters gave me the confidence to speak publicly in order to advance my business and my career. For me, Toastmasters taught me to never give up on a lost cause who still was willing to do the difficult work of trying to grow and to change.
I mention all of this tonight for a few reasons.
1) I know some people who are frustrated by life and by the challenges of trying to improve their future. It can be done if you just keep coming back and keep making an honest effort. “The pain of the change is soon forgotten once the rewards of the effort have (begun to be) realized.” - Zig Zigler I think
2) No matter how far you have come or how good you think you are, there are still paths that can lead you farther... if you are willing to seek them out.
3) Most limits in life exist only because you choose to place them upon yourself. These limits are often masked as excuses, poor timing, and bad luck.
4) If you need skills to change, it doesn’t matter what you like or enjoy, go develop those skills. You may discover once you have gained competency, you actually enjoy those things you once dreaded (like writing, public speaking, and web design).
5) Becoming a CTM in Toastmasters was more difficult than earning my college degree or my Eagle in scouting. Maybe because of this, I value it even more than I do those other two accomplishments, and I know for a fact it has done more for my career and my personal relationships than anything else I have ever attempted.
6) There is a new Toastmaster’s club that meets the 2nd and 4th Monday of each month at 1:20 in the afternoon at Keiser University in Lakeland, Fl. It is a club that is open to students, faculty, alumni, and anyone else over 18 who is looking to improve the quality of their life and their potential for a better career. Please feel free to visit and participate.
“In 20 years you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sail. Explore! Dream! Discover!” (Mark Twain) and quit making excuses to remain trapped by your fears and habits in a world of frustrating mediocrity.
